My Needs
by Quaxo
Summary: He goes in the next day to talk to Betsey to see what's up with Jack.


The leading cause of death in men his age is retirement, no matter what the surgeon general says. When you don't have a job that you have to get up for every morning, you don't have a reason to get up at all.

He manages to keep himself busy though, donating his services down at the local free clinic for a small percentage of his salary as chief of medicine.

Jack is an intern at St. Vincent's under Newbie's passable tutelage, and Jenny is just starting her first year of medical school at Winston University and already complaining about Dr. Mahoney's death march rounds. Jordan is still Jordan, but she's allowed a handsome streak of gray creep into her hair instead of dying it into submission.

He had never thought he'd be so _satisfied_ with his life at this point – dare he say 'happy'?

Of course that's when everything goes downhill, because the minute he relaxes something explodes in his face.

It starts, although he doesn't realize it at the time, when Jack asks for his advice on how to break up with a particularly clingy someone he's been seeing on the side at the hospital. They're in a position above him, in a position to hurt him, and he's got to be careful how he does it. He chides Jack for screwing where he eats, for screwing above his station, and then again for trying to have a relationship in what are probably the most stressful years of his life that is only going to wind up being probably one of the biggest mistakes of his life (how did Jack he'd met Jordan?).

He tells Jack to quietly but firmly break it off with her, tell her that neither of them want a scene and that they should act like adults.

His first mistake is not asking why Jack is asking him and not one of his friends for relationship advice. His second is assuming that it was a girl.

"You need to go down to St. Vincent's and tell DJ fire whoever's giving Jack a hard time," Jordan demands a month later.

He's inclined to blow her off at first – intern year is rough and it's to be expected that the residents, the attendings, pretty much everyone at the hospital is going to make the nearest intern's life hell just for existing.

Except when he talks with Jack, he hears more than just an exhausted overworked intern who's gotten on the bad side of one of his superiors. He tries to ask him what's going on – he offers up his own stories of how Kelso had made his life hell during his intern years.

Jack keeps saying everything is 'fine' – even as he grows paler and more haggard as he's routine shoved on the nightshifts and most certainly is being asked to work more than the maximum 80 hours a week.

He's frustrated, but Jack's a big boy now and he can't fight his battles for him. He's just going to have to sit this one out on the sidelines and hope whatever asshole is giving him a hard time finds some other person to pick on.

When Jack calls him at three in the morning, completely trashed, and apologizes for letting him down because he just doesn't think he's going to make it as a doctor and would he hate him forever if he dropped out of his internship, Perry knows he's going to have to intervene. He tells Jack that he'll be proud of whatever Jack decides to do with his life and tells him to go to bed, because it's going to look a lot better in the morning.

He's goes in the next day to see Betsey and see if he can't get a better idea of what is going on with Jack (and hopefully who he's going to be beating the shit out of in the parking garage later tonight).

He doesn't bother making an appointment, blows off the guard dog administrative assistant that tries to block his way and enters the JD's office unannounced. If JD's anything like he was during his first few years as chief of medicine he'll be glad for the interruption.

"Perry," JD smiles at him as he leans back from his desk as he pulls his reading glasses off. Perry's eyes have a sympathy pang as he remembers exactly how much _reading_ you have to do as a chief. Most of that paperwork is bullshit too. "What brings you to my humble hospital?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Jack," He says, taking a seat in front of JD. "He's been upset recently, and I was wondering if you might know why."

Suddenly, JD's glasses are back on and he's focused back on his paperwork.

"Not that I've noticed."

He's a bit taken aback at that – not that he thinks that Jack deserves special treatment because he's his son – but JD's a… friend, he'd hoped that JD would've at least kept an eye on his son for him. Besides, JD's the _sensitive_ one who

"Really – because he seems awfully upset and –"

"You know how interns are," JD says flatly, eyes scrolling across some pointless piece of paperwork that's probably about naming some room after a dead founder. "What he's going through is normal for an intern – although it's probably been too long for you to remember."

He nods, suddenly realizing he's become one of those foolish overprotective parents he's always railed about. Jack is 27 years old; he doesn't need his father showing up to his place of work trying to force the other kids to play nice with him. Hell, back when he was an attending he would've made the life of an intern whose father showed up absolute misery until the kid quit, transferred, or joined the psych ward as a guest.

"Sorry I wasted your time," He sighs, standing and heading for the door.

"You're just acting like a concerned father," JD says vaguely as he's halfway to the door. It's a mild comfort in the face of the fact that he's pretty much screwed Jack's career at this hospital.

"I fucked him," JD says as he wraps his hand around the doorknob.

Things slide into place so suddenly they leave him blind, numb and cold as he thinks back to that conversation he had with Jack about dumping the clingy girl. Jack had never said it was a girl – had only said it was someone above him in rank that he didn't want anyone knowing about their relationship.

Well, JD _was_ practically a girl; he can be forgiven the assumption.

He'll find time to be angry at Jack for being so stupid _later_; there are other more pressing issues at hand.

He turns around to see JD standing behind his desk, looking unbearably smug. His fists clench, nails cutting into his palm as he resists the urge to just go over there and clean that bastard's clock.

"He just wanted to make you happy – he's so afraid of disappointing you. Not just by failing out as a doctor, which he's perilously close to by the way – by not being the 'man' you wanted him to be, interested in girls like he's supposed to," JD drawls, finishing with a mean sort of laugh that grates on Perry's nerves because of the familiarity to his own.

"He _needed_ a mentor, not someone who was going to use him for some sick power trip," He grinds out through his teeth.

"I needed a mentor," JD says in an uncharacteristically bitter voice, coming from around the desk to face him. "Instead I got you. What you need and what you get are two different things."

"Oh Newbie, you messed with the wrong intern. I'll have your goddamn job for this," He snarls, swiping his thumb across his nose. JD's going to be lucky if they'll let him hold the rectal thermometer at the zoo by the time he's through.

"Really, because I think I _**fucked**_ the right one," JD's chest to chest with him now, looking at him with sadistic glee. "And you think you're soooooohoho powerful, old man? You burn me and I'll make sure Jack _and_ Jenny never get to so much as look at a stethoscope again. I've got three times the contacts that you've managed to amass, because unlike you I don't have a knack for pissing off the wrong people."

Jack and Jen's futures down the tubes… he's seen it happen on occasion, and his gut squirms with the fear that JD isn't bluffing about his friends in higher places.

"What will it take for you to leave Jack and Jenny alone," He manages to wrestle past his rapidly swelling throat. JD's herding him now – has managed to get between him and the door – for every step JD takes towards him he's taking another one back.

"You want me to leave Jack and Jenny alone," JD laughs softly, stepping close to him again, leaving him pinned between JD and the desk behind him. "Someone's going to have to fill that hole – well, I'm going to have to fill it, but someone is going to have to supply it – you know what I mean."

He wants to punch JD for threatening Jenny and Jack – he wants to punch JD for _touching_ Jack at all – he wants to punch JD for such a lame quip that he can't even word properly.

He nods his head in acceptance – because he'd do anything for his kids, anything to ensure their happiness, even this.

JD kisses him, his lips greasy with overly sweet Chap Stick, and he can't force himself to open his mouth to open to the tongue demanding entry. Eventually, JD pulls away – giving up and looking at him angrily and he feels that trill of fear in his stomach grow.

"Are we going to do this or not," JD snaps.

"…Now?"

"What, you thought we were going to rent a hotel room and a romantic dinner for two?"

He shakes his head, resignation and despair draping itself over his shoulder and poisoning the air he breathes. He turns around slowly, skull buzzing as he tries to connect everything he knows to what is happening in this moment.

He swallows as he feels JD's hands dance along the fly of his pants, bile rising and scorching his throat. If it weren't for all the very very good reasons he was doing this, JD would be picking his teeth out of his stool samples for the next month.

"Why did you do it, JD," He asks softly, closing his eyes as he feels his pants slide to the floor.

"He was what I had, not what I needed," JD whispers in his ear, hand stroking the band of the underwear.

He thinks he understands.


End file.
